Big Boys Toys - Week 1: Fantasy Football Review

IT'S FOOTBALL TIME!!!

I figured I would take a few minutes to review this weeks match ups to hopefully knock some sense into you guys... You know who i'm talking too *cough* starting Michael Crabtree?!?! *cough*

So to start it off, let's take a look at the most important game of the week...

Cleveland Steamers vs. Team Burnt Toast
Facebook Proj: 132.30 - 116.36

Ouch!!!

Matching up Steamers QB McNabb against Burnt's Eli, I feel both have the chance to put up some great number. In 2008, Eli threw for 216 and 305 yards in his 2 meetings with WAS for a combined 1 TD... ouch! The last meeting between PHI and CAR resulted in 3 TD passes. Hmm... 1 pt PHILLY!

As for the rest of the lineups, I feel the RB's match up well. I'd put Steamers Drew-Jones ahead of Burnt's LT most days but San Diego is playing, hmmmm... Oakland. SHIT!!! I like Toast's WR lineup a little more this week as Steamers T.O. seems to be having problems in BUF and Roy Williams is coming off an injury. My other huge differential builder is in the Defense catagory. Steamers has the Vikings who are playing against the Browns, wheras Toast has his Cardinals taking on San Fran.

I agree with Facebook on this one that Cleveland Steamers will take it, but I feel the diferential will be within 7 and not the 16 that they claim.


Legion of Douchebagery vs. Heidis Head Hunters
Facebook Proj: 107.67 - 116.82

Lets hope Kurt Warner leaves his walker on the sidelines for this game!

In all reality, this is a much closer match up on paper. With Boldin injured, Fitz and Breaston will be sharing most of the receiver options. Let's just hope Breaston can start catching them now as pre-season was a struggle for him. I give Douche's QB, Peyton, the nod for this week. I feel both RB's for both teams will perform well as they are all playing teams weak against the run. And both of you have a starter and secondary RB in this week behind strong starting RB's.

I feel the only weakness this week for you guys is the WR lineup. Besides Heidi's star WR Fitz, I feel she doesn't have a strong showing, but Berrian could really pick apart the Browns weak secondary on Sunday. I believe his performance will determine a W or L for the Head Hunters this week.

However I disagree with Facebook, and believe Douchebagery will squeeeeek out a win with a diferential of maybe 2-3.


Bacon Bits vs JimmyZ's Destroyers
Facebook Proj: 121.72 - 126.28

Given the choice of two QB's, Brees or Rogers, I would pick Brees EVERY TIME... especially when Rogers is playing against the Bears this week and Brees is playing against the Lions. I would be suprised if Brees doesn't turn out to be the BIG points winner this week. Sorry Bacon, but it's your QB who will be chewed to Bits this week

Looking into the rest of the offenses, Destroyers is kind of playing against himself. He has Moreno from DEN as his RB, which I love for this week... but he is also still starting Brandon Marshall, who is questionable for this weekend. And even if he does play, I wouldn't expect a lot of love on the field as he's been asking to leave! Good luck with him this week.

There is only one worse WR playing this week, and we will get to that team in another post. You better know who you are! On the other hand Bacon has Jennings from GB and who I think will get the real catches this week for DEN, Royal. I will have to give the WR nod to Bacon.

In my opinion, both of these defenses are equal this week, so... drum roll please...

I agree with Facebook here and select Destroyers to do just that to Bacon, but I think teh spread will be wider than the 5 they predict.


Snoho Slowmoes vs Bozo's
Facebook Proj: 121.44 - 111.94

I have some trouble... Bozo is both my boss and friend, so I would like to see someoe pound his ass into the ground, and at the same time, be gentle so I don't have to hear him whine come Monday...

That said, Bozo has a stong QB prospect in Matt Ryan. I like his odds better that Slowmoes faith in Romo. Romo is issing T.O. this season, and Roy Williams is coming off an injury and seems slow right now. You only hope is that Whitten is ready to take a bunch of catches and... wait... Bozo has Whitten?!?! Slowmoe, You are screwed!!!

Digging deeper into the offenses, Bozo made some shifts late this week to bolster his running game, but did he really need it? #1 draft pick Peterson starting game one against one of the WORST run defenses in the league, CLE. Once again Slowmoe, sorry...

Slowmoe's only saving grace, or should I say 3 saving graces, is his league best WR lineup. AMAZING!!! Steve Smith (the real one with CAR, not NY), Andre Johnson and Calvin johnson?!?! Did you get 3 amazing picks in a row or what?

I like both defenses a lot too, but feel Bozo with Chargers taking on the Raiders has a bit of an edge over Slowmoes PITT vs TENN.

Overall, I disagree with Facebook on this one, as I think Peterson, Whitton and Ryan will help keep thuis differential close, with a slight edge to Bozo. Bozo > Slowmoe by less than 5.


Trambo Will Triumph vs Yeshuwah
Facebook Proj: 121.76 - 116.12

Is Cutler a better QB than Big Ben... Yes, but, who is he going to throw to that is worth a dam???
Facebook rates them 29.36 and 28.42 respectively. I don't think either will score that well this week, but I do feel they are really ranked that closely based on Cutlers skill to WR depth and Ben's WR depth to skill.
In this head-to-head rumble, Trambo has the stronger running game, as Yeshuwah's stronger RB, Portis, is heads up against a strong run defense in the Giants. Thsi will cause you trouble this week and Trambo should pull ahead in the RB war... but wait...

Trambo is running a core of backups at the WR. Walter in Houston is #2 to Johnson, and Boldin, THE BEST #2 WR in the game, is out for the game. I like Sanchez with the Jets a lot, and his #1 receiver, Cotchery is your only hope. However, that is all you have this week at WR is hope. Sorry...

That said, I disagree with Facebook here and believe Yes will take this week with the biggest diferential of more than 10 points, a 15 point swing over their projection.


Moldy Cheeseheads vs CMECRUSHU
Facebook Proj: 111.70 - 106.66

This will be the blowout of the week!!!

Sorry to pick on you, but CMECRUCHU won't be crushing anything but a ton of beer cans as he drinks himself stupid watching his 3rd string WR from KC, Bowe, his #2 WR from PHI, Jackson, and... wait... is that Crabtree with SF as your #3 WR? You offensive is just that, offensive. You got screwed son. Crabtree hasn't even been signed yet, and might not at all. Time to bench that kid, and maybe even let him go quickly!

Moving on, I like Crush's QB in Rivers, especially, like I said previously, against the Raiders. I expect good numbers out of him this week. The running game for both of you should be pretty close as well, so look to the weak receiving core to be the big difference in this battle.

I agree with Facebook's projections, but expect it to be larger than the 7 point differential they project. I'm guessing around 14 points.

So that's i for this week!!! Good luck to you all and have fun!!!