Big Boys Toys - Week 3: Fantasy Football Review

WEEK 3 MATCHUPS

So who will be playing Vic?!?! Anyone?!?!

With week 3 closing in, let's take a look at the standings. With 2 teams at 2-0, and 2 teams at 0-2, the middle of the pack has a HUGE spread, almost 100 points. CMECRUSHU and Bozo may be undefeated, but one loss will throw them at least 4 places down the list given the HUGE weeks Jimmy Z, Keep on Sprolin' and Snoho Slowmoes have had (all over 300 points so far).

Bacon, like the Titans, you are easily the best 0-2 team out there... and CMECRUSHU, like the Broncos, you have got to be the worst 2-0 team out there. I am confused by these standings right now. Maybe I will be eating my words later, but I predict both you will have a 1 in the other column this weekend!

Braylon Edwards Scissor Hands vs. CMECRUSHU
Facebook Proj: 115.58 - 114.92

Roster Changes
Team: Braylon Edwards Scissor Hands
OUT: Roy Williams (WR)
IN: Braylon Edwards

Team: CMECRUSHU
NO ROSTER CHANGES

For the worst roster move of the week, Scissor hands pulls Roy Williams and puts in Braylon Edwards. No doubt, this will be the reason for his loss this week when he find himself only 5 points ahead after Sunday night’s game, leaving CMECRUCHU's DeAngelo Williams to make it a big win after running all over Dallas on Monday night.

Scissors only saving grace is that Joshua Cribbs from CLE is projected at only .5 points, but has been averaging almost 14 points over 2 games. Underrated!!!

This one will be close, so don't expect a huge blowout.

JimmyZ's Destroyers vs. Bozo's

Facebook Proj: 132.98 - 103.96

Roster Changes
TEAM: JimmyZ's Destroyers
OUT: Cedric Benson (RB), Torry Holt (WR)
IN: Knowshon Moreno (RB), Steve Smith (WR)

TEAM: Bozo's
OUT: Matt Ryan (QB)
IN: Joe Flacco (QB)

Bozo had better hope and pray for snow in Buffalo this weekend as that will be his only chance against a beast of a QB in Brees! WEATHER ALERT... WEATHER ALERT... BUFFALO IS EXPECTING RAIN AND WIND ALL WEEKEND WITH HIGHS IN THE MID 60'S! This might help. Keep the praying going!

Bozo has a strong offense this week with Flacco throwing against Cleveland, Adrian Peterson running all over San Fran and Jason Whitton catching all around a defeated team in Carolina. Can they hope to match Brees, Knowshon Moreno plowing down the Redskins or Randy Moss out with a vengeance from the embarrassing showing from last week? In my opinion... yes.

Bozo squeaks out another victory here for the biggest upset of the week! I think Bozo will have 150+ for the week.

Keep On Sprolin' vs. Team Burnt Toast
Facebook Proj: 94.46 - 116.82

Roster Changes
TEAM: Keep On Sprolin' (Formerly You Ochocincod My Battleship (Formerly Legion of Douchebaggery))
OUT: Carnell Williams (RB), T.J. Houshmandzadeh (WR), Indianapolis Colts (DEF)
IN: Felix Jones (RB), Chad Ochocinco (WR), Chicago Bears (DEF)

TEAM: Team Burnt Toast
OUT: LaDainian Tomlinson (RB), Laveranues Coles (WR), Visanthe Shiancoe (TE)
IN: Jonathan Stewart (RB), Santonio Holmes (WR), Dustin Keller (TE)

This week matches up 2 teams with the most moves in the last week, and with that, some BIG names will be sitting this week. LT, OUT! Cadillac, OUT! Whosyourmama, OUT! And the Indy Defense... OUT!!! Should be a great week to see some new talent score some points for these guys.

Facebook scores this one a blowout, but their facts aren't straight... again... and in Sprolin's favor. Darrin Sproles, again, has a projection of... 8?!?! Well I am expecting him to throw up similar numbers to last week’s showing of 26. I am unsure why Sprolin' would pull out Carnell Williams who provided over 20 points last week for Felix Jones who is projected at only 5.9, but as I have learned, he has tricks up his sleeves. Keep on Sprolin' Nostradamus!!!

I think Sprolin will pull off a win this week as Facebook seems to be smoking weed with its predictions here. Remember to puff, puff, pass FB!!!

Moldy Cheeseheads vs. Yeshuwah
Facebook Proj: 115.62 - 122.08

Roster Changes
TEAM: Moldy Cheeseheads
OUT: Isaac Bruce (WR)
IN: Earl Bennett (WR)

TEAM: Yeshuwah
NO ROSTER CHANGES

Both of these teams have had a rough couple weeks, but expect to see Moldy Cheeseheads step it up this week. These QB's, Yes's Big Ben and Moldy's Brady, will throw up some big numbers this week, but it is there I feel the similarities will end.

Moldy's RB's will have a great week, not only because Turner is a beast, but because they are going up against Yes's lineup of Portis, who will do well, and Jamal Lewis, who... shhhhhh... is out this week. His current status is doubtful. This is a game changer guys.

All of Moldy's WR have easy games against weak secondaries in CLE, STL and SEA, so big numbers are coming!

I expect Moldy to get a HUGE first win this weekend. This will be confidence building!

Heidi’s Head Hunters vs. Bacon Bits
Facebook Proj: 109.20 - 116.18

TEAM: Heidi’s Head Hunters
NO ROSTER CHANGES

TEAM: Bacon Bits
OUT: Eddie Royal (WR), Greg Olsen (TE)
IN: Devery Henderson (WR), Brent Celek (TE)

Bacon made some great moves this week putting in both Devery Henderson and Brent Celek. I think I am seeing this 2 game losing streak come to an end.

Heidi's Kurt Warner will have another 3 great quarters, only to have Leinart come in and ruin a HUGE lead quickly... again. You would have MONSTROUS numbers if Kurt could only finish a game, but being 132 years old in the NFL can be rough. The only person older than Warner still performing in their field at high level is Sean Connery, who by the way is amazing for 784 years old. You can suck it Trebek!

Frank Gore had a ridiculous week against Seattle last week, but the seagulls run defense is nothing compared to what MIN is. Expect to see him taking notes from the sideline as he watches Peterson run for 2 breakaways like Gore had last week.

Bacons matchups this week include 4 players against STL, and 1 against DEN, JAC and KC. Unfortunately, Heidi's matchups are against actual NFL teams this week’s compared to Bacon's Pop Warner opponents.

Bacon will be crying like a 19 lb baby when he pulls ahead of Heidi early and finds himself teary eyed when he looks to Heidi for a little sexy time and she is pissed about losing. I am calling for a holdout Heidi!!!

Snoho Slowmoes vs. Trambo Will Triumph
Facebook Proj: 123.40 - 117.12

Roster Changes
TEAM: Snoho Slowmoes
NO ROSTER CHANGES

TEAM: Trambo Will Triumph
NO ROSTER CHANGES

Snoho will roll over Trambo this week faster than Big Ben and Kellen Winslow's Bike Club at a wheelie competition. Snoho's receiving core is absolutely brutal. After a weak week 1 showing, all of them stepped it up HUGE week 2 to give him a combined total of over 75 from them alone. I expect the Slowmoes to be anything but this week. Expect to see a repeat of last week by scoring somewhere in the vicinity of 180 points this week.

But wait... If anyone can keep up, it would be Matt Schaub, Boldin, Cotchery and Clark. Trambo's lineup is nothing to laugh at, as You Ochocincod My Battleship learned last week. Trambo threw up over 165 points in last week’s 1 point victory.

This is my match of the week. Schaub threw for 357 yards and 4 TD's last week against the Titans last week. The Jag's are more ants compared to them, so image what Shaub will do to their secondary! Also, Gore ran for 2 HUGE TD's against Seattle last week, and now in comes Matt Forte for the Bears. I expect big numbers.

I'm on the same page as Facebook with this game in that Snoho will get the win, but it will be a great matchup!

Good luck everyone and enjoy your weekend!

Big Boys Toys - Week 2: Fantasy Football Review

WEEK 2 MATCHUPS

Braylon Edwards Scissor Hands vs. Bacon Bits

Facebook Proj: 116.30 - 112.56

Roster Changes

Team: Braylon Edwards Scissor Hands (formerly Cleveland Steamers)

OUT: Donovan McNabb (QB), Braylon Edwards (WR)

IN: Mark Sanchez (QB), Joshua Cribbs (WR)

Team: Bacon Bits

NO ROSTER CHANGES

When Bacon's Greenbay players Aaron Rogers, Greg Jennings and kicker Mason Crosby play in Cinni this week, Fantasy Football points will roll!!! In fact, with the exception of Houston RB Steve Slayton having to break through TENN defense, most of Bacon's players this week play against weaker defenses.

Braylon Edwards Scissor Hands is screwed... but wait! I think I see a light at the end of this tunnel!

After losing QB Donovan McNabb, Scissor Hands picked up the rookie QB sensation (says me), Mark Sanchez. Will he do as well as McNabb... no. Will he score big on New England... maybe? But I have a HUGE scoop. The New England Defense, being huge fans of Dirty Dancing, skipped most of practice this week mourning the loss of Patrick Swayze, and failed to watch any game footage of Sanchez from last week.

OK, now back to the light at the end of the tunnel. Positive note #1. Jones-Drew at Arizona. I like this a LOT. Positive note #2. Minnesota defense at Detroit. Expect big numbers from both of these.

That said, I do have to agree with Fasebook's projections here and give a sullen nod to Bacon Bits. Good luck buddy [I'm not your buddy, friend... I'm not your friend, guy... I'm not your guy, buddy]!

You Ochocincod My Battleship vs. Trambo Will Triumph

Facebook Proj: 96.56 - 114.50

Roster Changes

TEAM: You Ochocincod My Battleship (Formerly Legion of Douchebaggery)

OUT: Thomas Jones (RB), Zach Miller (TE)

IN: Carnell Williams (RB), Chris Cooley (TE)

TEAM: Trambo Will Triumph

OUT: Jay Cutler (QB), Matt Forte (RB), Ronnie Brown (RB)

IN: Matt Schaub (QB), Larry Johnson (RB), Marion Barber (RB)

The #3 rank vs. #12 ranks. Based on last week’s performance, this is a bloody battle. However, Trambo replaced his heavy hitters in Jay Cutler, Matt Forte and Ronnie Browns for Houston's QB Matt Schaub against TENN, Larry Johnson and Marion Barber against a tough run defense in the Giants. To be fair though, his starters, now benched, do have a very tough schedule as well.

Ochocincod made some big moves this week as well. Thomas Jones out, which I like since they are playing New England, and in place he brought in Carnell "Cadillac" Williams from Tampa Bay who is playing Buffalo. Now Facebook has his projection at 0.00, which makes no sense as he ran for 97 yards last week with 1 TD raking in 18 fantasy points against Dallas! I think this is such a good pickup that it surprised me when he happened to grab him just 30 minutes before I was to get him. Damn Facebook and its weird waiver times. I tried all weekend to pick him up for Week 2! Oh-well...

Now pitting offense against offense, I really like Peyton Manning against MIA over Matt Schaub throwing against TENN, and with LT out most likely this week, Sproles will tear past his Facebook projection of 7.10 and Cadillac will be closer to his Week 1 points of 18 than his projection of 0 to sprint past Trambo's rushing lineup for this week.

All else being fairly equal in my opinion based on ability and opponent, this week’s results will rely mostly on the QB's and RB.

I was going to agree with Facebook on this one, but just as I started typing, Kanye West came out of nowhere, ripping my keyboard out of my hands to say... "My boy Ochocincod will have the BEST week of all time. He will win by over 30 points. Here FB, you can finish now!!!" and threw the keyboard down while walking away. I think I will have to agree with him.

Bozo's vs. Moldy Cheeseheads

Facebook Proj: 107.58 - 102.74

Roster Changes

TEAM: Bozo's

NO ROSTER CHANGES

TEAM: Moldy Cheeseheads

OUT: Anthony Gonzalez (WR), Donald Lee (TE)

IN: Mark Clayton (WR), Benjamin Watson (TE)

Bozo blew past his Week 1 Facebook Projection by almost 50 points finishing in a very strong 2nd place overall with just over 160 points. Liking his odds, he is keeping his team unchanged for Week 2 and has decided not to bench his only weak spot from Week 1, Bennie Wells. But, as I feel he has a weak bench for RB's, this isn't entirely a bad decision.

Cheeseheads, on the other hand, who finished 2nd from last, upgraded his WR and TE spots grabbing guys who, over his last week, improves those position by over 40 points based on last week’s actuals. Someone’s starting to look like a contender. But will it be enough to match Bozo's Adrian Peterson running against Detroit? Well maybe, since most of Bozo's other picks have tough matchups this week.

Cheeseheads has Tom Brady at the Jets, Michael Turner running against Carolina, Donald Driver catching against a weak Cincinnati secondary and the Titans looking to hold a weak showing Houston from last week.

After a very strong showing Week 1, I expect Bozo to have a much smaller week this week. Expect Cheeseheads to get a tough win this week having to make up the 60 points Peterson will likely throw down against the Lions.

I call Facebook a liar and make my pick Moldy Cheeseheads over Bozo!!! I expect to hear Bozo's cries late Sunday night as he realizes Whitten, your last hope for the week, will not hit the spread needed as the minutes of the Sunday night game come to an end.

JimmyZ's Destroyers vs. CMECRUSHU

Facebook Proj: 129.18 - 114.18

Roster Changes

TEAM: JimmyZ's Destroyers

OUT: Kevin Smith (RB)

IN: Knowshon Moreno (RB)

TEAM: CMECRUSHU

OUT: Michael Crabtree (WR)

IN: Percy Harvin (WR)

The DREADED JimmyZ had a DEVASTATING Week 1 dominating Bacon Bits by almost 100pts!!! I have never seen a score so high. Embrace it while you can, because the Philly defense isn't the Lions defense, and 6 TD's will not happen twice... nor will the 5 INT's your Defense had. The good, the bad and the ugly of it this week is that if your Philly defense does well, it's because Brees did poorly... and vice versa.

Expect both running backs, Moreno, new for this week, and Benson, to have smaller weeks as the defenses they face have better run defenses than the previous week’s opponents.

CMECRUSHU... well at least I can't pick on you about Crabtree this week. Welcome to the league man. I still cannot believe you won last week. Onward! Philip Rivers should continue to have a successful week this week, and I agree with Facebook that he will end up close to 30pts again. But you will need more than that to keep up with Brees, and I don't think you have it. Have the Vaseline close at hand as I think Week 2 will burn a bit without it.

Facebook has it right here and we agree JimmyZ will keep his league lead as he should finish Week 2 at 2-0.

Heidi’s Head Hunters vs. Team Burnt Toast

Facebook Proj: 110.32 - 110.42

Roster Changes

TEAM: Heidi’s Head Hunters

NO ROSTER CHANGES

TEAM: Team Burnt Toast

NO ROSTER CHANGES

Burnt Toast squeaked out a Monday night win on me last week and he could do it again this weekend as last week’s #1 receiver with 32 points, Reggie Wayne, doesn't play until Monday night. Heidi should be losing even more sleep than usual come Sunday night if she finds herself within 30 points of Toast.

Brian Westbrook will make the difference in this being a close game, or Heidi running away with it. Without McNabb, the Eagles best option is to run, run and run. But knowing that, the New Orleans should be prepared to stop the run, run and run. If Westbrook can break through, he might balance out the fact that LT will have little to no action this Sunday against Baltimore. But shhh... maybe Toast doesn't know this yet. I hope he is reading these predictions!

The big question for this week for both teams is the receiving core. Will Berrian for MIN actually be a target for Favre, and can Carson Palmer actually get a catchable ball out to his #2 receiver in Coles? Aside from the starting WR in Wayne and Fitz, this receiving core is waiting for a jump start.

Finally, it is said Defense wins Superbowls, and if that is the truth, this week’s pits Heidi's Baltimore defense against the Chargers and Toasts Cardinals against Jacksonville. Arizona sucks against the run, and Jones-Drew will take advantage against that. If the secondary can stop the air attack, it might keep this close. But... bring from Phoenix and knowing the Cards...

Heidi should win this week bringing her overall win/loss back to .500. Facebook favors Toast by .10 points, and I call for a reversal. Heidi over Toast!

Yeshuwah vs. Snoho Slowmoes

Facebook Proj: 112.42 - 127.40

Roster Changes

TEAM: Yeshuwah

OUT: Joseph Addai (RB)

IN: Jamal Lewis (RB)

TEAM: Snoho Slowmoes

OUT: Owen Daniels (TE)

IN: Jeremy Shockey (TE)

Slowmoes came out of the draft with some heavy bragging: "We should re-draft...I'm feeling really bad about how much I’m going to dominate after that draft."

After Week 1, all I can hear is crickets... Now, once you can take the cricket from my hand, you will have learned your lesson. For today, strong receivers at the mercy of weak quarterbacks make for big losses.

That said, this week should favor you much better as your failed offense of week 1 should, and I stress should, pick up this week. If you look at your receivers teams last week, all of them lost. And it is reflected in their stats and fantasy points. The focus this week will be to get the ball in their capable hands as they are the only offensive playmakers on these teams. I expect HUGE numbers from all 3 this week.

Another person I expect big numbers from is Big Ben himself. Expect him to bring in some big points for Yeshuwah creating a deficit for Slowmoes Romo to dig out of. I expect the RB tandem of Cleveland’s Lewis and the Redskins Portis to run all over Slowmoes lineup of Balt's Rice and TENN's Johnson, as he will be splitting a lot of carries with White.

This week can turn out to be very close, but I agree with Facebook experts to provide the Slowmoes with their first win.

Good luck everyone and enjoy your weekend!

Big Boys Toys - Week 1: Fantasy Football Review

IT'S FOOTBALL TIME!!!

I figured I would take a few minutes to review this weeks match ups to hopefully knock some sense into you guys... You know who i'm talking too *cough* starting Michael Crabtree?!?! *cough*

So to start it off, let's take a look at the most important game of the week...

Cleveland Steamers vs. Team Burnt Toast
Facebook Proj: 132.30 - 116.36

Ouch!!!

Matching up Steamers QB McNabb against Burnt's Eli, I feel both have the chance to put up some great number. In 2008, Eli threw for 216 and 305 yards in his 2 meetings with WAS for a combined 1 TD... ouch! The last meeting between PHI and CAR resulted in 3 TD passes. Hmm... 1 pt PHILLY!

As for the rest of the lineups, I feel the RB's match up well. I'd put Steamers Drew-Jones ahead of Burnt's LT most days but San Diego is playing, hmmmm... Oakland. SHIT!!! I like Toast's WR lineup a little more this week as Steamers T.O. seems to be having problems in BUF and Roy Williams is coming off an injury. My other huge differential builder is in the Defense catagory. Steamers has the Vikings who are playing against the Browns, wheras Toast has his Cardinals taking on San Fran.

I agree with Facebook on this one that Cleveland Steamers will take it, but I feel the diferential will be within 7 and not the 16 that they claim.


Legion of Douchebagery vs. Heidis Head Hunters
Facebook Proj: 107.67 - 116.82

Lets hope Kurt Warner leaves his walker on the sidelines for this game!

In all reality, this is a much closer match up on paper. With Boldin injured, Fitz and Breaston will be sharing most of the receiver options. Let's just hope Breaston can start catching them now as pre-season was a struggle for him. I give Douche's QB, Peyton, the nod for this week. I feel both RB's for both teams will perform well as they are all playing teams weak against the run. And both of you have a starter and secondary RB in this week behind strong starting RB's.

I feel the only weakness this week for you guys is the WR lineup. Besides Heidi's star WR Fitz, I feel she doesn't have a strong showing, but Berrian could really pick apart the Browns weak secondary on Sunday. I believe his performance will determine a W or L for the Head Hunters this week.

However I disagree with Facebook, and believe Douchebagery will squeeeeek out a win with a diferential of maybe 2-3.


Bacon Bits vs JimmyZ's Destroyers
Facebook Proj: 121.72 - 126.28

Given the choice of two QB's, Brees or Rogers, I would pick Brees EVERY TIME... especially when Rogers is playing against the Bears this week and Brees is playing against the Lions. I would be suprised if Brees doesn't turn out to be the BIG points winner this week. Sorry Bacon, but it's your QB who will be chewed to Bits this week

Looking into the rest of the offenses, Destroyers is kind of playing against himself. He has Moreno from DEN as his RB, which I love for this week... but he is also still starting Brandon Marshall, who is questionable for this weekend. And even if he does play, I wouldn't expect a lot of love on the field as he's been asking to leave! Good luck with him this week.

There is only one worse WR playing this week, and we will get to that team in another post. You better know who you are! On the other hand Bacon has Jennings from GB and who I think will get the real catches this week for DEN, Royal. I will have to give the WR nod to Bacon.

In my opinion, both of these defenses are equal this week, so... drum roll please...

I agree with Facebook here and select Destroyers to do just that to Bacon, but I think teh spread will be wider than the 5 they predict.


Snoho Slowmoes vs Bozo's
Facebook Proj: 121.44 - 111.94

I have some trouble... Bozo is both my boss and friend, so I would like to see someoe pound his ass into the ground, and at the same time, be gentle so I don't have to hear him whine come Monday...

That said, Bozo has a stong QB prospect in Matt Ryan. I like his odds better that Slowmoes faith in Romo. Romo is issing T.O. this season, and Roy Williams is coming off an injury and seems slow right now. You only hope is that Whitten is ready to take a bunch of catches and... wait... Bozo has Whitten?!?! Slowmoe, You are screwed!!!

Digging deeper into the offenses, Bozo made some shifts late this week to bolster his running game, but did he really need it? #1 draft pick Peterson starting game one against one of the WORST run defenses in the league, CLE. Once again Slowmoe, sorry...

Slowmoe's only saving grace, or should I say 3 saving graces, is his league best WR lineup. AMAZING!!! Steve Smith (the real one with CAR, not NY), Andre Johnson and Calvin johnson?!?! Did you get 3 amazing picks in a row or what?

I like both defenses a lot too, but feel Bozo with Chargers taking on the Raiders has a bit of an edge over Slowmoes PITT vs TENN.

Overall, I disagree with Facebook on this one, as I think Peterson, Whitton and Ryan will help keep thuis differential close, with a slight edge to Bozo. Bozo > Slowmoe by less than 5.


Trambo Will Triumph vs Yeshuwah
Facebook Proj: 121.76 - 116.12

Is Cutler a better QB than Big Ben... Yes, but, who is he going to throw to that is worth a dam???
Facebook rates them 29.36 and 28.42 respectively. I don't think either will score that well this week, but I do feel they are really ranked that closely based on Cutlers skill to WR depth and Ben's WR depth to skill.
In this head-to-head rumble, Trambo has the stronger running game, as Yeshuwah's stronger RB, Portis, is heads up against a strong run defense in the Giants. Thsi will cause you trouble this week and Trambo should pull ahead in the RB war... but wait...

Trambo is running a core of backups at the WR. Walter in Houston is #2 to Johnson, and Boldin, THE BEST #2 WR in the game, is out for the game. I like Sanchez with the Jets a lot, and his #1 receiver, Cotchery is your only hope. However, that is all you have this week at WR is hope. Sorry...

That said, I disagree with Facebook here and believe Yes will take this week with the biggest diferential of more than 10 points, a 15 point swing over their projection.


Moldy Cheeseheads vs CMECRUSHU
Facebook Proj: 111.70 - 106.66

This will be the blowout of the week!!!

Sorry to pick on you, but CMECRUCHU won't be crushing anything but a ton of beer cans as he drinks himself stupid watching his 3rd string WR from KC, Bowe, his #2 WR from PHI, Jackson, and... wait... is that Crabtree with SF as your #3 WR? You offensive is just that, offensive. You got screwed son. Crabtree hasn't even been signed yet, and might not at all. Time to bench that kid, and maybe even let him go quickly!

Moving on, I like Crush's QB in Rivers, especially, like I said previously, against the Raiders. I expect good numbers out of him this week. The running game for both of you should be pretty close as well, so look to the weak receiving core to be the big difference in this battle.

I agree with Facebook's projections, but expect it to be larger than the 7 point differential they project. I'm guessing around 14 points.

So that's i for this week!!! Good luck to you all and have fun!!!